At this point of time, I have successfully survived the first semester of college, after crusading through many battles, and many new experiences; and I wish to use the platform of Campus Perspectives to now review what I went through. I hope it helps me introspect better, and provide some food for thought to others, especially with regards to how similar or different their experience is of the same college.
I came to this college with a lot of expectations and hope, just like you all. The first few days passed by peacefully without any issues. The only matter was that my acquaintance remained restricted to fellow Keralites only. Within this small circle also, one friend shifted to another college, making the number of people I could interact to, even smaller.
The situation took a turn for the worse, and college began to become a dull space, without friends and companions.Soon I found my interest in academics also waning, despite heavy warnings from my teachers to not go down that road. Disregarding academics is something that I do regret now. The only factor pushing me to go to college was attendance, which proved to be inadequate over time. Eventually going to college started feeling like a tota punishment, and as I started skipping classes, my falling attendance in turn further adversely affected my academic performance. The result was that by the time I took my first internal, even my basic self confidence vis-a-vis other students was lost completely.
It was not just in the realm of academics that I suffered a setback. From my school age, I was someone who was particularly interested in politics, and extremely enjoyed meaningful political discussions. That is why I was shocked to see the level of political unawareness in the campus. Some students didn’t even know the name of their MP. It wasn't just the apolitical nature of some students that bothered me, my main disaffection towards this campus's political attitude came when my political ideologies were openly disrespected. I was bullied, and some ABVP goons actually threatened to lynch me because I was distributing pamphlets of a political party I associate myself with. Away from family and neighbors with no adequate support base of friends, I couldn’t even register my protest against these experiences. Moreover, I was witness to a recent incident of APBV hooligans thrashing a student for pasting anti ABVP posters, and this was enough to scare me into silence.
Coming back to academics, I want to recount the incidence where, when confronted about my poor academic performance in a tute by a teacher, I got paralysed by an intense feeling of humiliation, and was unable to explain my feelings or gather my thoughts, and I just sat through the ordeal like a dummy with my head down. Even though later I figured that the teacher questioned me with the best of intentions, at that moment I could only feel insulted in front of other students, and this event ended up greatly adding to my fear of facing teachers and classmates. My academics continued to worsen, and every time my family enquired about my studies, I felt burdened with regret and pressure. I even seriously considered dropping out of the college.
Thanks to my school teacher, who always stood with me in times of difficulties, I was able to climb out of this miserable situation. He listened to me and suggested solutions to my problems. He even helped me prepare for my semester exam. Slowly I came to realize that we have to struggle constantly with our self in order to not give up, and people from different socio-economic backgrounds have struggles of their own.
I am able to openly speak about these issues up to some extent with the help of some teachers in the college. As a closing statement I just want to emphasize that, most of the students who drop out of college or stop attending classes do so because they lack a supportive friends circle and effective communication with teachers. To those who are currently going through these problems, I urge you to not lose confidence and continue believing in yourself. As a Gandhi once said “ If you have the belief that you can do it, you shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it in the beginning”.
~ Nassil Nazim ( First year Economics student at SRCC )
( Views expressed in the readers' article session are personal and not necessarily that of team 'Campus Perspectives' )
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